Capilano University had a open media-presentation day, including portfolio reviews for their Illustration Design program. I had, of course, planned for this day. I got together all my best work and tried to mentally un-psych myself out. We went. I sat. And sat. And sat.
The room was hot. The amount of people in the room x their artistic talent -my self confidence + one single open window = Sam shrinking further into the corner. After watching a couple of portfolios of 'strongly encouraged' and ' I don't have any recommendations for improvement' my stomach had wrung itself into a Celtic knot. My eyes were watering at the mere thought of putting my drawings in front of everyone to look at. To judge, to criticize, to mock.
So. I choked.
I asked Ryan if we could go, and so we went with my tail between my legs.
But, it wasn't without a lesson, or at a loss. The uber-amazing (they don't need further education) portfolios showed me what I needed. The variety of media, the perseverance, the passion, and the dedication all were what was lacking in my pages. I still have some time. No, it's not a lot, just a month and a bit. But I want this. I need this. So this, I will do.